The Quiet Strength of True Leadership

4/30/25 - Writing this a little early this week—I’ll be heading to Austin Saturday afternoon for one of my favorite events of the year: the Austin Entrepreneurial Summit by Gobundance. Three days and four nights surrounded by incredible entrepreneurs and close friends.

The event itself? It’s powerful. The rooms are filled with people who’ve built extraordinary success in business, health, family, and life.

But that’s not where the deepest value comes from for me.

It’s the connections.
The late-night conversations.
The laughs that come out of nowhere.
The quiet moments in an Airbnb kitchen when you drop the mask and just… be real.

That’s the gold. That’s what always brings me back.

Last Week’s Letter

After I hit “send” on last week’s letter—where I opened up about an unplanned psychedelic trip—I felt a twinge of panic.

“Dude… what are you doing?”
“You talk about being a high-level leader and you just told everyone you accidentally rocketed off to the moon.”

Some of you may have had that thought too. And honestly, part of me gets it.

But here’s what I’ve come to believe:

The facade of perfection isn’t leadership.
 Honesty is.

The moment we pretend to have it all together, we set impossible standards for the people around us. We stop being relatable. And we create glass houses that eventually shatter—leaving a mess for everyone inside.

So I’ll keep sharing the messy stuff, too.
Because leaders aren’t meant to be idols.
They’re meant to be examples—of what’s possible, what’s real, and what’s human.

The Backstory

Quick recap for context:
I ate some chocolate with mushrooms in it, went about my day, forgot about it... and then added a full three grams of ground mushrooms on top using a technique called lemon trekking.

It all hit at once.

Thankfully, I stayed calm, kept moving, called some trusted people, and rode it out. And in the end, it turned out to be one of the most insightful days I’ve had in a long time.

Because it forced me to sit with some hard truths about myself—especially around leadership.

From Force to Power

Back in 2018, I picked up Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink. That book changed the game for me.

It lit a fire. I wanted to be a strong, disciplined, motivational type of man. The one who pushed others forward through sheer will and intensity.

And for a while, I was.
But I was also lost because that’s not who I am, not really.

I didn’t have a clear sense of values.
My emotional intelligence was limited.
I was motivated more by pain than purpose.
And I didn’t really want to be seen—I wanted to be validated.

So I pushed hard. Physically, mentally, emotionally.
Heavy sandbags, long runs, brutal workouts.
I told myself I was motivating others and in some ways I was. But really, I was avoiding the deep work I needed to discover inner stillness. 

Because stillness would have exposed what I wasn’t ready to admit.

Catching Myself

A few months ago, I found myself thinking:
“I want to be on that AES stage someday.”
 “I want to be out front.”

But why?

The honest answer? I wanted the recognition.
I wanted people to look at me and say, “That guy’s a leader.”

And that’s when I caught it—because that need… was still rooted in a wound.

A New Way Forward

That experience, combined with watching Jim Carrey’s “The Real You” over and over,  reading the first few chapters of Power vs. Force, and having a soul-deep conversation with my friend Lena, brought me back to center.

I found stillness.
Confidence.
Peace.

The kind that doesn’t need to push.
The kind that doesn’t need to prove anything.

I still want to lead.
I still want to serve.
And yes, I still want to speak on that stage—but only if that’s where I can be of the most value.

Because true leadership isn’t about being out front.
It’s about knowing who you are, standing firm in that, and letting your presence do the work.

Still.
Confident.
Authentic. 

 Rooted.

 Vulnerable
Present.
Joyful.
Purpose-driven.

The kind of leader who doesn’t need to announce he’s a leader.
He doesn’t force others forward.
He becomes a magnet— pulling them forward —by being exactly who he is.

The kind of man who inspires through alignment, not authority.
The kind who can stand in the spotlight or sit quietly in the back—because his worth isn’t tied to where he’s standing, but who he’s being.

Marcus Aurelius.
Lincoln.
JFK.
They weren’t perfect.
But they were steady. And that steadiness changed the world.

Take This With You

Before you move on with your day, give yourself some space.
Just a few minutes.

Sit with whatever this stirred up in you.
Feel it fully. No judgment.

Have the courage to spend time examining yourself and ask:

• Where am I leading from force… and where am I leading from power?
  

• Where am I still chasing validation… and where am I finally anchored in truth?
  

• Who am I becoming—and is it aligned with who I really want to be?
  

Keep peeling back the layers.
Keep discovering who you are—beneath the noise, the pressure, the performance.

Because the world doesn’t need louder leaders.
It needs real ones.

And that starts with all of us doing deep introspective work.

As always, thanks for reading. 

Kyle

Song

Frank Sinatra - My Way: This was my Grandpa John’s favorite song. I found it fitting for this week and that my Mom and Dad were just in NY and visited he and my Grandma’s grave. I remember him singing it at his 80th birthday and the whole family signing it at his funeral.