The Process of Finding Purpose

This Week’s Playbook to Purpose:

• Stop over-consuming
  

• Take one step
  

• Compare it to your values and your vision
  

• Keep pressure off it to make money
  

• Don’t compare timelines
  

• Build with men who get it
  

• Set boundaries with those who don’t
  

• Stick with it when it gets hard
  

That’s what’s worked for me.

Life Feels Aligned Right Now — That Changes How I Write

Some weeks I write from the pit. Fear. Doubt. That dark place where I don’t know if I’m ever going to make it.

This isn’t one of those weeks.

I feel clear. Centered. Purposeful.

That’s where this newsletter is coming from. Not survival. Just truth.

Quick Personal Updates

Kallie and I had our maternity shoot this week.

I’m usually not a big fan of photoshoots. But this time was different. It was calm. Present. Fun. Just the two of us—laughing, connected, looking into each other’s eyes like nothing else existed.

I’ve never felt more certain she’s going to be an incredible mom.

I’ve also been getting updates from my dad back home. He’s been hammering away on my ’69 AMC Javelin. The motor’s coming together—and man, it looks phenomenal.

That car means a lot. I bought it for us to work on together. Can’t wait to get back to Cleveland, get under the hood with him again, and one day pass it down to my kids.

That’s what legacy looks like to me. Not money. Time. Memories.

The Purpose Problem (And Why It Nearly Took Me Out)

There was a point in my life where everything looked great on paper.

Big salary. House. Barely any debt. Beautiful girlfriend (now wife). Stability.

But inside? I was numb as fuck.

I couldn’t feel anything. I hated myself. I hated my job. I was going through the motions—like a fucking zombie. And I didn’t know why.

So I did what a lot of men do:
I chased hits.
Sex. Alcohol. Buying shit I didn’t need. Scrolling. Drinking. More sex. More spending. More scrolling.
Just trying to feel something.

But nothing stuck. Nothing helped.

And I see now how that spiral turns into violence, addiction, or suicide for some men. When you don’t know why you’re here—when you don’t feel alive—you either check out or blow up.

What saved me wasn’t therapy. Wasn’t a pill. Wasn’t a podcast. Wasn’t journaling.

It was doing the work.
Trying.
Failing.
Figuring it out the hard way.
And finally starting to build something that mattered.

The Lie of Clarity

We all say we want clarity.

But what we really want is certainty.

We want to know it’s going to work before we start.
We want someone to hand us the answer.
We want a blueprint that guarantees purpose, fulfillment, and a six-figure income.

That doesn’t exist.

We did a purpose prompt exercise in Emerge last week. Some guys came out more confused than before.

And that’s fine.

If it didn’t help? Dump it. Don’t overthink it.
Start taking action.

That’s the only way clarity comes—through motion.

You can’t think your way to purpose.
You have to go fucking do shit.

Start Small. Test First.

When I first started coaching, I wasn’t thinking small.

I wanted 1,000 clients.
100 coaches underneath me.
Big-ass vision. Big-ass pressure.

And I hadn’t even worked with one fucking client.

I was chasing dollar signs, plain and simple. Scarcity disguised as ambition.

And it buried me.

If I had just picked up one client, tested the waters, and figured out who I liked working with—I could’ve built something real. Slowly. Intentionally. Without burning out.

That’s what I do now.

So whatever you think your thing is—test it.
Don’t overcommit. Don’t quit your job. Don’t blow up your life. Don’t dump thousands in to it.

Take one step.
Pick up one client.
Run one rep.

See how it feels.

You’ll learn more doing that than reading 20 books.

Purpose Can’t Pay Your Bills—Not at First

This isn’t a rule. It’s just what I’ve lived.

When I needed coaching to pay the bills, it sucked.

I said yes to the wrong people. Took on too much. And undercharged because I thought volume was the key. I stopped loving the thing I once felt called to do.

Now? I assume purpose might not make me a dollar for a year or two.

And I build it anyway.

That mindset frees me to do it right.
Slow. Aligned. Solid.
So when it does make money—it’s because I built something I actually believe in.

You do what works for you.
But if I could go back, I’d take this approach from day one.

Not Everything Deserves a Trial

This is how I decide what’s worth testing:

• Does it align with my values?
  

• Does it fit the essence of my vision?
  

Coaching does.
The way I do it now—5 one on one clients, 4 FORGED groups of 6 men each—it gives me time, freedom, impact, and space to create.

That lines up with my values: simplicity, creativity, abundance, presence.

And it fits the essence of my vision:
An unhurried life.
A life where I’m not rushing. A life with an abundance of impact, income and time.
Where I’ve got time to think, to write, to train, to be with my family.
Where I don’t have to say “yes” out of desperation.

If something doesn’t line up with that—I don’t need to test it.

So don’t just try shit for the sake of trying.

Compare it to your values.
Hold it up to your vision.

That’s how you start narrowing in on what actually fits.

Final Word

If you’re still looking for purpose, you’re not broken. You’re just early in the process.

Don’t rush it. Don’t overthink it. And don’t quit just because it’s hard.

Clarity comes through motion.
Purpose comes through action.
You find it by doing, adjusting, and doing again.

This was my path.
It might look different than yours.
That’s okay.

Take what lands.
Leave what doesn’t.
And just keep fucking going.

As always, thanks for reading.
– Kyle

Song of the Week

“Bleed It Out” – Linkin Park

Pure trial-and-error energy. Frustration, failure, showing up anyway.

That’s what this week’s about.

Not overthinking. Not waiting for clarity.
Getting in the mess. Failing forward. Bleeding it out.

Turn it up.