I Was Focused on the Wrong Things

This is a long one since it has been so long since my last edition and before I get into things, I want to tell you upfront what the core of this letter is going to be about because it’s the first one I am putting out in a while and if you’re expecting politics or social issues, well maybe another time.

In this letter I wanted to share:

A question that helped me experience a mindset shift around content, but I believe can help in any business.

A breakthrough I had during a run about focusing on results instead of simply focusing on building.

A fear that I recognized that I didn’t even know I was carrying but was definitely holding me back.

And after typing that out I am realizing they’re all kind of tied together.

Life Updates

6/2/26 - Had an incredible yet difficult run this morning out in the East Texas heat and humidity and now here I am sitting down at 9:23am to write the first one of these in quite some time. For some reason I am feeling anxious writing this and not sure why. Maybe something I’ll dive into as I go.

I got home from about 2.5 weeks of travel late Sunday night after nearly missing my flight for the first time in my life. Got through security with 5 minutes til boarding ending and was, not exaggerating, nearly a mile from my gate with a carry on and a backpack packed to the max. I hadn’t seen my wife or son in about 4 days and I didn’t want to delay it even further.

I had no time to warm up for this unexpected weighted sprint through the airport and about three quarters of the way there my legs were smoked and my lungs were on fire. I run a lot, but not like that… weighted, sprint, no warm up.

But I thought about my son and simply told myself there was zero way I was missing that plane.

Made it to the gate in time and was the last one on the plane.

As I got onboard, drenched in sweat, I thought about how grateful I was for taking care of myself. Not so I could run faster or look better, but because when getting home to my wife and son mattered most, my body was ready.

Prior to that, I had an incredible weekend surrounded by incredible people at a mastermind event in Chicago, capped off by my first DMT (a powerful psychedelic) experience a few hours before my flight and no, that’s not why I was late. Damn GPS took us to a spot that was definitely not O’Hare.

I am sharing some of my insights from that on my story on IG if you want to hear more.

All of that made me extremely grateful for the amazing people in my life and helped me realize how much growth I’ve experienced since stepping into my first event like that back in May of 2023, almost exactly 3 years ago when I first left my corporate job for the last time.

Let’s get into it…

Going to go in chronological order here on some of these thoughts, questions, and breakthroughs I’ve had over the last few days. Hopefully some resonate for anyone that’s feeling stuck right now.

A question that helped me experience a mindset shift around content, but I believe can help in any business.

As I mentioned, I had a very intense experience Sunday and had been traveling for quite a while so I decided to make yesterday light for myself. Not much on the calendar and plenty of space to do what I wanted.

I put out some content but not a ton and didn’t spend much time on it and it felt very effortless, which by the end of the day made me feel lazy.

As I walked around the kitchen, straightening a few things up, my mind started to say:

“Dude, you could have done more. What if that next video was THE video that got a bunch of views and follows and made you money?!? You should go knock more out before you call it quits. Today was too easy.”

And then a question popped into my head:

“Did you do an exceptional job of building your brand today?”

And the answer that immediately popped into my head was a clear YES.

Then:

“Well then why does the effort or the immediate results matter? If you do an exceptional job of building your brand day to day, won’t the results inevitably come?”

MINDBLOWN.

I realized I had been tying the way I felt about content to the wrong things: effort and short-term results.

Neither tell the whole story.

Effort doesn’t always equal quality. And short-term results aren't nearly as important as consistently doing exceptional work over a long period of time.

So moving forward, that’s the question I will be asking myself to measure my day:

Did I do an exceptional job building my brand?

(Or maybe for some of you replace that with your business, your relationship with your wife, or whatever it may be that you're working on.)

And if the answer is a resounding yes, then I’m good.

A breakthrough I had during a run about focusing on results instead of simply focusing on building.

As I mentioned at the start, these are all related so I am sure you’ll see the similarities and how the same thoughts, tips, and questions can be applied to different situations.

I set out to run this morning. 42 minutes and 30 seconds without stopping to walk. Nothing I haven’t done before.

I was cruising until I glanced down at my timer with about 12:30 left because from that moment forward, I was only thinking about the time and accomplishing the goal that I set out to accomplish.

That remaining 12:30 felt 10 times longer than the previous 30 because during the previous 30 I hadn’t been thinking about the finish line.

I was enjoying myself.

Putting one foot in front of the other.

Allowing my mind to wander and be creative.

Reflecting on the weekend and all of my experiences.

Picturing future vacations and memories we haven’t made yet.

Just feeling very present with myself, the road, and my thoughts.

But then, bam.

I looked at that clock and the only thought I had was:

You gotta hit this mark.

My thoughts were taken from the present to the future.

I made it, but finishing that run was one of the more challenging things I have done in a while.

As I was walking to cool down, it hit me.

I was doing the same thing during my run that I was doing about content the night before.

I was focused on the results instead of simply enjoying the process.

And whenever I do that, it feels like a grind.

The building feels heavy.

It feels like it’s taking forever.

I lose faith.

And again, I believe this applies to so many things in our lives.

We focus on the goal, some future state, which pulls us away from all of the incredible things going on right in front of us.

Going back to yesterday, that was time with my son, time in the garden, and my workout.

All of the things I became an entrepreneur to have more time to do.

And yet I was focused on some future result instead of the process.

Plus, after every mountaintop, every goal, every 42:30 run… there’s another one.

I will run Thursday.

I will run Saturday.

I’ll run three more times next week.

And so on.

When I think of it that way, it seems defeating.

But if I think, “Tomorrow I’m going to run,” and nothing past that, I’m good.

I’m present.

I’m focused.

A fear that I recognized that I didn’t even know I was carrying but was definitely holding me back.

I do, or have done, many things that others simply may not understand.

Quit a six-figure corporate job with plenty more room to level up to pursue entrepreneurship.

Put myself all over the internet causing me to be ridiculed for my beliefs and even receive death threats.

Signed up for a 100-mile ultramarathon, something .001% of people on the planet have successfully completed.

Drive 40 minutes each way to train jiu jitsu and beat up my body.

Use psychedelics like psilocybin and DMT which are demonized by western society.

Wake up at 4:40am to have time to myself while I read, meditate, talk to myself, and God.

For the longest time I let fear hold me back from doing some of these things but I didn’t know what that fear was.

It’s the fear of being misunderstood for who I authentically am.

Before quitting my job, I knew if I ever did, some people I love just wouldn’t get it.

I knew the same about sharing my experiences with psychedelics or even marijuana.

And when it comes to being a content creator, especially at 39 years old, again, people just wouldn’t understand it.

The rest of what I listed? Yeah, people may not understand why I do them, but I think those are relatively small potatoes compared to the first three.

This was especially difficult to overcome knowing that some of these people would be close friends and family.

And this fear was not unfounded.

It was true.

I have had to confront it face to face.

But recently something has clicked.

The fear of being misunderstood has faded and damn does it feel good.

Because I am not here to be understood.

It isn’t my job to try to get people to understand why I am who I am or why I do what I do.

The truth is, it all makes me happy.

It makes me feel free.

And when I’m living that way, I show up better for my wife, my son, and myself.

That’s what really matters.

If they want to know, they ask and we talk.

Some of them take the time to listen, to learn, and to try to understand.

Some ultimately get it.

Some don’t.

Either way, it’s fine.

Because living a fear-based life led me to anxiety, depression, a lack of purpose, and being someone who honestly wasn’t really living but surviving.

And that wasn’t the example I wanted to set for my wife and son.

As I sit here wrapping this up, I think I finally understand why I felt anxious writing this letter this morning.

Parts of it required me to be seen.

Parts of it required me to be misunderstood.

And for a long time, that scared me.

Not anymore.

So here I am.

The misunderstood, authentic me.

And I hope I can empower others to do the same because I am the happiest version of myself I have ever been.

And it feels fucking great.

As always, thanks for reading and I hope some of this helped. 

Kyle

Song of the week: I Did It My Way - Frank Sinatra 

I may have used this one in the past but felt it was the perfect fit. This song will always remind me of my Grandpa John.